One of the importnat lessons I m learning right now in self love process is to
SET THE BOUNDARIES.
I love to help people. I love to see them happy and taping into their potential. As much as I don t have clarity with myself, I can often see or "smell" the huge potential in others. But I m also sometimes giving so much that I go burned out myself.
I m also focusing so much on achievement of others that I forgot my own. Then the anger, resentment and victimizing feeling comes and it is all wasted.
THIS IS NOT THE WAY.
Example from my life right now:
Yesterday, I had huge conversation with my brother. Last 14 years I m more less in charge of him. As he wrote me, I protect him and I nourish him. I m everything he has and I m asking him to live his life. So he is getting upset and naughty to attract my attention and keep me busy with his life instead of my life (and my tree kids and husbands life...). He lives in FEAR and this fear is affecting him and all family last 14 years. Don t forget, where Fear is, Love has no space.
I want him to live in Love, in Trust, in Creativity. I want him to trust to himself and to love himself. But for this, I have to start with myself, as usual. Be the change...it is the quote that is just buzzzing in my head over and over. If I want my bro to love himself, I have to love myself. I have to set example, and I have to SET BOUNDARIES. Then, eventualy, he will want himself to live in Love, in Trust, in Creativity...because my wantings are not enough for him...
So...see where do you feel drained. In which relationship. What is your pattern. Then look at you and FEEL what YOU need out of it, what you need for yourself, regardless everything else. And between the draining pattern and your own feeling of need for well being is the space where you have to set the boundaries.
You can t give what you don t have, and sometimes the best you do for yourself is also the best for other, setting him free of dependency and fear. Your clarity is bringing the Light on the path of others. Painful, sometimes, but always with Love at the end of the tunnel.
SET THE BOUNDARIES.
I love to help people. I love to see them happy and taping into their potential. As much as I don t have clarity with myself, I can often see or "smell" the huge potential in others. But I m also sometimes giving so much that I go burned out myself.
I m also focusing so much on achievement of others that I forgot my own. Then the anger, resentment and victimizing feeling comes and it is all wasted.
THIS IS NOT THE WAY.
Example from my life right now:
Yesterday, I had huge conversation with my brother. Last 14 years I m more less in charge of him. As he wrote me, I protect him and I nourish him. I m everything he has and I m asking him to live his life. So he is getting upset and naughty to attract my attention and keep me busy with his life instead of my life (and my tree kids and husbands life...). He lives in FEAR and this fear is affecting him and all family last 14 years. Don t forget, where Fear is, Love has no space.
I want him to live in Love, in Trust, in Creativity. I want him to trust to himself and to love himself. But for this, I have to start with myself, as usual. Be the change...it is the quote that is just buzzzing in my head over and over. If I want my bro to love himself, I have to love myself. I have to set example, and I have to SET BOUNDARIES. Then, eventualy, he will want himself to live in Love, in Trust, in Creativity...because my wantings are not enough for him...
So...see where do you feel drained. In which relationship. What is your pattern. Then look at you and FEEL what YOU need out of it, what you need for yourself, regardless everything else. And between the draining pattern and your own feeling of need for well being is the space where you have to set the boundaries.
You can t give what you don t have, and sometimes the best you do for yourself is also the best for other, setting him free of dependency and fear. Your clarity is bringing the Light on the path of others. Painful, sometimes, but always with Love at the end of the tunnel.
SET BOUNDARIES NOW.
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